Weight Watchers Sold

GOP Buys Weight Watchers

Republicans of Yore

In a not so surprising move Koch Industries of which the Republican Party is a wholly owned subsidiary, has purchased Weight Watchers International in a bid to return GOP leadership to its once svelte self.

Republican National Committee spokesperson, Snidely Whiplash, explained that given the tons of fat we are talking about here, buying Weight Watchers outright was probably cheaper in the long run than running the risk of penalties at weigh ins.

When asked by a reporter if the RNC had considered just Photoshopping the weight off, Snidely replied, “We considered that, but again with the amount of weight involved we knew we’d be risking Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

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