Seeking to head off a Romney – Perry two way race for the White House, Representative Michelle Bachmann has come out with an issue that she hopes will re-energize her faltering campaign.
At a press conference held in her home state of Denial, GOP candidate Bachmann repeated her conviction that God hates deficits to the point of sending hurricanes to punctuate the issue. In an effort to placate The Deity and get the U.S. Economy rolling again, Bachmann put forth the proposal of a Bible based government to alleviate two fundamental problems; outsourcing and personal debt.
“It came to me in a dream” gushed the candidate. “A Bible based government!! Of course. Why didn’t I think of this sooner?” Since The Bible allows slavery as long as the slave comes from another country, we could send our military into Canada and Mexico, scoop up workers by the bucket full, and run our factories with labor so cheap even the Chinese would be envious. Bingo! No more outsourcing.”
“And as far as individuals losing their jobs, going bankrupt, and into foreclosure, the Bible has that covered too. It allows you to pick up some serious cash by merely selling your daughters into slavery! Pretty neat huh!”