Tea Bagger Shocker
With the force of a tsunami the news that Tea Bagger Central, located within the bowels of Koch Industries, had received a report of Osama Bin Laden’s last words ripped through trailer parks across Real America. The news, reported by the ever reliable forwarded email community stunned even hate radio veteran Speedy Gonzalesbaug. “I’m speechless” was Gonzalesbaugh’s uncharacteristic reaction.
“Bin Laden died happy thanks to Trigger Finger Obama”, said Tea Bagger spokesperson Sylvia Lipton. “His last words, transmitted over microphones carried by U.S. Forces, were “Welcome to Abbottabad Mr. Bond. I’ve been expecting you. Now I can go peacefully knowing my work will be carried on by my son, Obama Bin Laden and his bobby trapped ‘Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act’, which we over here in the terrorist industry derisively refer to as ‘Obamacare’. But now I must beg you to please not shoot me. I would hate to spend eternity with 72 virgins. BWWWHAAAAAAH!