Following through on his suggestion that charities should step in and fill the many voids that would be created under his presidency, Ron Paul, at the request of The Onion, had agreed to appear in ads soliciting donations for the site’s charitable works, not realizing they are a satirical news site and therefore quite devoid of any sense of charity.
“I thought they were a food co-op or something with a name like that.” wailed Republican representative Paul. “Maybe some new age hold over from the seventies. Why couldn’t they give it a name that would make clear it was satirical news? I know FOX was taken, but there are other choices. I mean isn’t there a government agency that keeps track of this stuff?”
When reached for comment, spokesperson Sammy Whizehass of The Onion replied with characteristic lack of contrition; “Maybe Representative Paul should start his own satirical news site and name it in accordance with his chances of ever getting close to the office of President.
Chopped Liver, I believe, is still available.”