Many Would Prefer Farting Contest
Confused by such terms as foreign policy, marginal tax rate, and penis size, one third of GOP voters are turned off by the present tone of the Republican debates.
We sent our reporter to Ding Dong, Texas in order to gather the opinions of real GOP voters from a decidedly red state. The sample collected indicates that likely Republican primary voters feel that given the trajectory of the current debates the next logical step would be a farting contest. “At least we wouldn’t have their ideas messed up with a lot of big words”, said long time Ding Dong resident, retired boxer, Bob N. Weave.
When our reporter asked what such a contest could decide, Mr. Weave replied, “Nuttin’, but towards the end maybe they could entertain us by lighting a few and maybe entice Rick Perry to get back in the race.