Obama Calls For Brain Mapping Study

Tea Baggers / Conservatives Cry Foul

“We are calling on all Americans to resist this latest effort on the part of ‘The Usurper’ to read the minds of law abiding American citizens”, declared Sarah Belleum, spokesperson for the “Don’t Know Much ’bout History” branch of Tea Baggers United; one of the many groups funded by the Koch Brothers under their “We’re against …whatever” initiative.

Sorry, Error 404 Brain Not Found

Sorry, Error 404 Brain Not Found

“Who do you think are going to be the first to be dragged from their fortified basements and outbuildings to be scanned for any useful brain activity? Us patriots, that’s who”, declared Belleum. “Are we going to allow the feds to develop this technology so they can zap us as we are walking down the street and discover where we buried all those weapons of war that we need to fend off those deer that keep invading our shrubbery; not to mention those Canadians that keep trying to reenact the War of 1812 by¬†re-burning¬†Buffalo?”

“I for one say NO!” declared the devout Tea Bagger. “If The Usurper and his illegitimate regime want my thoughts on anything, ranging all the way from gay marriage to gay therapy, to gay unions, they are going to have to pry it from my cold dead amygdala.”