Romney Campaign Hires Veterinarian

Seeks To Quell Foot In Mouth Outbreak

Assuming the guise of personal trainer, a veterinarian has been secretly hired by the Romney Presidential campaign to seek the cause and possible solution to a damaging outbreak of Foot In Mouth disease.

Foot In Mouth - It's Not Just For Babies Anymore

Reaching all the way to the top of the ticket, the infection has caused, in its latest iteration, Willard Mitt Romney to disparage and potentially alienate about half of the potential voters in the coming Presidential election.

“Mitt has already”, said a source requesting anonymity, “under the influence of the disease, called the electorate freeloaders, loafers, and perceived victims.  We hope to stem the outbreak in time to prevent the dialogue from degenerating into A-Holes, and F’n Losers”

When asked what specific treatment will be used in this situation, our source said a multifaceted approach would be used beginning with the tried and true, “If you can’t say something nice about someone, don’t say anything at all”.